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  • Writer's pictureFede

Heart-Centered Relationships

Hi, how are you today?

When we answer this question we must in fact engage in a bit of inquiry that is the equivalent of self-relating. We might look into the sensations of our body, the thoughts appearing in our mind, or the emotions that our body might be experiencing at the moment as we prepare an answer. Or, we might provide the standard response "I'm good/great!" without really knowing how we are.

When we cultivate self-relation we can always and easily answer the question about our self, or, as it may be, the parts of our self. Since the physical heart is the center of our bodily universe, how we relate to ourselves and relate to our heart is of vital importance as it pumps energy and information everywhere in the body. The only self-attitude worth having is one of love, openness and understanding. Then we can experience the comfort and joy depicted in the form of organs hugging themselves. And naturally our bodies will become more huggable, more open to joy.

Relating from the Heart : Self-relation, Self-regulation and happiness for all is the second in this year's four-part series focusing on Living from the Heart. In it we will enjoy a simple self-witnessing in the form of a dialectic, a loving look into our reality.

Uncover heart-based, meaningful relationships

The focus here is always happiness, the kind that can only be found when we are at peace with ourselves. A heart-based relationship implies that we are open to our own heart, and are able to witness our life and personal identity in the light of love. How else could we possibly be open to love? Not romantic love, but the love that is independent of circumstances - the love available to us right here and now as I am aware that my body writes, as you are aware that your body reads.

Our body's physiology has a lot more to do with this than most of us may have realized. If the physical body is tense and brimming with intense energies signalling threat, these must first be assuaged and liberated. Then our physiology naturally and organically trends towards self-regulation. As the organism down-regulates threat states its capacities flower and it becomes an accurate sensor of the conditions that are present here, now. It can then, with great fidelity and clarity, serve you -the awareness that is present right now- in witnessing that all is well.

When we are able to attend to the present explicitly, we lose interest in the past that is implicit in our organism's sense of alert: fear, dread, stress.

When we are together we discover and experience the principles of self-regulation and self-relation in complete safety. Together we enter the realm of being - satisfaction. The reality of consciousness is so close to being realized at every moment that a simple dialectic is sufficient to remove the veils of fear and discomfort from our heart. When our face is illuminated by the simple truth that has been there all along it is sometimes awe-inspiring to accept how obvious and complete it is. We have created or been participant in a society where this simplicity has almost vanished.

During our encounters we simply re-create the society that we wish for and thus we change our world for good. The real world is the world of self-relation: there is only you, everyone & everything shows up within you as love.

We are continually engaging in a relationship with ourselves That is the starting point to our relationship with "other people", all the objects and beings around us, and nature and the universe. The quality of our relationship with ourselves plays a determining role in the quality of our life. We only experience life within ourselves - it always comes to that. Being able to render our self-relation as love is therefore vital.

Healthy relationships promote the health, well-being, and growth of all parties involved.

If we are unable to maintain loving self-relation it will be the same with the external world, and all kinds of challenges result. This is the reality of many people’s lives. I would like to invite you to gather your heart and face and get them to know each other better. We have the capacity to uncover how the heart and face are biologically connected moment by moment, and how simple it is to allow the heart and face to regulate each other towards openness and well-being.

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